NSFW (audio) “…pipe your data to /dev/null – it will be very fast.” “Does /dev/null support sharding?” NSFW (audio) “…the only thing constructive we could have used their source files for was as random keys for SSL certs.” NSFW (audio) “PHP reeks … Continue reading →

At the MariaDB developer meeting in Istanbul, we didn't yet tackle the logistics of filming and streaming the talks given, so if you weren't there, you have to be content with the blogs and slides published. I did however take the following 3 videos and now that I'm outside of Turkey's Internet firewall, I published them on YouTube. They are not technical at first sight, but if you think about it, they illustrate and summarize perfectly the current status of MySQL/MariaDB community development.

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Hakan and My have done an excellent job organizing our MariaDB developer meeting here in Istanbul. For the farewell dinner, Hakan asked what kind of music we'd like the DJ to play. I realized it is possible to compile a rather nice list of MySQL/MariaDB related music for an evening:

• Obviously: Lilla My's visa (Little Mys song) from the Moomin series. (I love female jazz vocalists anyway!)
• And why not also something from this band called Little My too?

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In celebration of Midsummer today, I wanted to post the below monologue on likelihoods (of nuclear powerplant catastrophies), which is a translation of a famous Swedish monologue by Tage Danielsson.

When we at MySQL had joined Sun, one task for me and my Sales Engineer collagues was to travel to Sun offices and educated the huge Sun sales force about MySQL, so they could sell it too. (Basically to tell them about open source, scale-out, reference customers, and most importantly: Don't sell Cluster on your own, call me first.) Being a Telecom Sales Engineer, I was sent to tour the Ericsson account team meeting, the Nokia account team meeting, and for logistical reasons even the Siemens account team meeting that was at the same location as the Nokia team.

Each meeting had nicer and nicer dinners, but the Ericsson account team meeting in Stockholm was clearly the winner. The dinner was set in the City Hall restaurant …

I ran across this great experiment Kingpin tried testing how far one could go not signing your signature properly when making credit card purchases. He’s definitely proven a point and made a hilarious experience. A must read I must say.

Source: Drunk Republic: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires

If you are a programmer, you, by definition, belong to the elite [awesome] human breed called geeks. If you know how to code in Python or Ruby, you might even think you’re pretty hot shit. But none of that compares in hotshitness to what you are about to learn.

Allow me to introduce LOLCODE – perhaps the most serious and, for some, cryptic, programming language. It is Turing-complete and uses an advanced compiler called Brainfuck (I’m still totally serious, and by the way if you’ve never heard of LOLCATS, then you’re not spending nearly enough time on the Internets. See the funny button that looks like a cross at the …

I confess — I have not always been an exclusive MySQL user. I have fooled around with other DBMSs. I was young, inexperienced, and I needed the money, I swear!

This comes about because I was doing some electronic de-crufting….From a file last modified on 10:50 am on 2005-06-30:

> more addcatalog.sh
#!/bin/sh

 db2 catalog tcpip node $1 remote $2 server 50000
 db2 terminate
 db2 catalog database sample as $2 at node $1
 db2 terminate

# [db2inst1@midgard db2inst1]$ db2sql92 -a db2inst3/password -d coworkername

And from the same time-frame there’s also:

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Just a short blog entry about a funny error message I’ve got while trying to activate a physical standby database: SQL> alter database recover managed standby database finish skip standby logfile; alter database recover managed standby database finish skip standby logfile * ERROR at line 1: ORA-00283: recovery session canceled due to errors ORA-01110: data file 1: '/oradata/stage/datafile/system_01.dbf' ORA-01122: database file 1 [...]

It's not exactly serious work but I found this post on Slashdot hilarious.
Definitely mod as funny.