April 1, 2010. Tokutek’s acquisitions of Oracle, Apple, HP, Microsoft and Google were today blocked by the European Union on the basis that the announced acquisitions were “in bad taste”. John Partridge, CEO of Tokutek said “They made us take our TokuFish back. They made us take our TokuPad back. They made us take our stock back. And our stack. Now we’re just a handful of engineers building a MySQL storage engine.”
“But it’s a really good storage engine.”
This is the 184th edition of Log Buffer, the weekly review of database blogs. I’ve edited a couple of Log Buffers before, but this is the first time I get to post directly to the Pythian blog. Just one of the many perks of being a Pythian employee ;)
On the Oracle front:
It is always good to start the day with a pop quiz to get the brain into gear: Charles Hooper posted a 3-part series with seemingly innocent True/False questions. He covers sorting, SQL tuning and …
[Read more]How many people aren’t going home for Easter weekend because they want to get their iPad shipment on Saturday? BTW we have an iPad-optimized WordPress app in for review, hopefully it makes the cut for launch.
The InnoDB Plugin manual is now available on the MySQL web site.
The InnoDB Plugin manual is now available on the MySQL web site.
April 1, 2010. Tokutek, Inc. announced the acquisition of Apple Computer Corporation. “Tokutek has long been a user of Apple products. Our entire management team uses iPhones, with the only holdout being Chief Architect Bradley C. Kuszmaul, who complains that the screen is too small” said John Partridge, CEO of Tokutek. “Apple is an innovative small company that builds phones and ipads”. Apple CEO Steve Job’s role has not been determined.
In a separate announcement, Tokutek announced the release of the TokuPad (demonstrated below by Dr. Kuszmaul). “We were able to leverage our newly acquired HP technology to build an even bigger version of the iPad. This is huge! It will change mobile computing! I can edit MySQL source code and browse PlanetMySQL at the same time! It’s unbelievably huge!”
“Oh, and we bought Microsoft and Google too”, said Partridge. “We gave Microsoft a TokuPad, and Google got a TokuFish. We ran …
[Read more]April Fools! We aren't switching to Lisp (as much as we love the language). We couldn't resist having a bit of fun.
Over the past few months we've had many architectural discussions about the future of database technology. It quickly became apparent to us that C++, the language we used to develop RethinkDB, is not sufficiently expressive to build the next-generation database product. We realized that in order to design the database system of the future, we need to use a programming language of the future as well.
We did a quick survey of programming languages and eventually narrowed down our choices to Erlang, Haskell, and Common Lisp. Two years ago, Damien Katz of CouchDB laid out the reasons why Erlang is a poor choice for database products. Many of his arguments resonated with us, and we made a wise decision not to repeat …
[Read more]April 1, 2010. Tokutek, Inc. announced the acquisition of HP. “Tokutek has long been a user of HP’s 23-inch and 24-inch monitors” said John Partridge, CEO of Tokutek. “HP is an innovative small company that builds devices such as monitors, useful for looking at MySQL scripts and source code. And printers. Tokutek intends to continue using monitors. And printers.” HP CEO Mark Hurd’s role has not been determined. The terms of the all-stack transaction included a promise to use HP monitors. And printers.
Wow. Now’s not a good day to announce anything true on your blog. I see a bunch of stuff that probably is true — but who’s banking on that? Is there really a new version of HeidiSQL? Is Arjen really moving to California to do MySQL work? Is Tokutek really purchasing Oracle? Gee, I’m not sure.
If I had any thoughts left in my head, I’d make a funny myself, but my head’s pretty empty. Believe that if you want to.
Related posts: