Sadly, it’s not my bug, it’s a bug in the MySQL Documentation.
http://bugs.mysql.com/bug.php?id=29915
I’m actually quite surprised nobody has run into this before, and in fact many sources quote this stating that %I and %h are the same thing.
I can’t be the only person in the world that’s ever needed hours with stripped leading zeros before. The irony is that before the submitted bug I was 5 points away from being a Basic Quality Contributor, and it would be very funny to me if this is the bug that pushed me over to qualify for a free Basic license….particularly since my company JUST bought a few licenses a month ago.