We then finally came to the topic that comes naturally to anyone familiar with the MySQL architecture. Could Hadoop, or Hive, or whichever, be plugged into MySQL as a storage engine? And why would you want to do that? And can Timour's work to push down JOIN conditions be of any help? (The last question was interesting since Ted and his team were inherently against talking about JOINs at all :-)
We ended up concluding that 2 things could be interesting and considered "low hanging fruit":
SQL to PIG compiler.
(Btw, it is not immediately obvious if this task needs MySQL at all.)