The open source coderati announced a new database today called “Monsoon”.  Norm “Al” Modelle said much effort was spent by the team so it can handle internet sized floods of data.  He expected it to have the licensing of PostgreSQL, the multi-engine support of MySQL, the functionality of Oracle, the ease of use of MS SQL Server, and the massively parallel scalability of DB2.

Not to be outdone, Computer Dilettantes (CD) also announced a new database, the oddly named “Mud Puddle”. Eye Samme, the Executive VP in charge of databases we intend to milk for support revenue, said he knows the customer is being squeezed by licensing costs in these hard times.  So CD spent considerable effort designing a real time application that constantly analyzes the customer’s use of the database.  It then notifies the sales force how they can maximize revenue extraction from the customer. He said the database …