So there I was, gesticulating in front of the chalkboard, lecturing to 120 students. Topic: the beauty of advanced data structures. The door opens and the department chair walks up the aisle onto the stage and comes up to me. 242 eyes follow her progress through the room. She whispers to me that I must stop speaking in English. Officially, the course must be conducted entirely in Spanish.

Entirely in Spanish… I turn back to face the students. 120 students are waiting for me to speak. I realize that I don’t even know how to say simple constructions like “x plus y” let alone “advanced data structure” or “order log log amortized time complexity.”

Is this a newfangled anxiety dream? Can this replace the tried and true: I’m in front of the class but I forgot to put on my pants? Can this replace the classic: I’m back in high school and have one just more class to take; but I haven’t been attending and don’t know …