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Displaying posts with tag: Fun (reset)
MySQL Storage Engine based on PHP

Sometimes one has weird ideas, or am I the only one? - This specific one is at least a year old, now, during the Christmas days, waiting for New Year's Eve I had the time and mood to finally try it out: MySQL 5.1 has a plugin interface to easily add storage engines. PHP can easily embedded into other applications.  So why not combine these two things? - Writing a MySQL Storage Engine which reads data by calling a PHP script.

Let's start with a simple example first:

<?phpfunction create_table($table, $data) {
    return true;
}

function open_table($table) {

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Italians strike back




What follows is the text of my "Swedish" blog.
Look mom, I am blogging in Swedish!
I am starting a blog in Swedish. Now, why should I do such a thing? I usually blog in English, and I don't even bother blogging in my native Italian. Most importantly, I do not speak Swedish at all. So, why bother?
My friend and colleague Kaj Arnö had the gall of starting a blog in Italian, a fact that surprised me and made me envious at the same time.


He started talking …

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Scary reading advice


Inspired by the Arctic Dolphin's scary movies, I dug out some reading advice that I made during the MySQL Developers meeting in Riga.

Jack Kerouac, On The RoadMap, a fictionalized autobiography of a senior engineer on a cross country bohemian odyssey after failing to deliver 5.1 GA for the fifth time.

Ken Kesey, One flew over the cuckoo's nested query. A story of love and madness involving a quiet Engineering department. When Jeffrey McMurphy, a convicted felon who's faking insanity to escape a prison sentence, is sent to the Database Group asylum, life changes instantly for the other guests.
A subtle tragedy involving a marketing planner, a virgin junior engineer, and a swordfish develops inexorably, leaving the …

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T-Dose 2008

Roland Bouman and I will be doing a presentation together at T-Dose on October 25th:

Building Open Source BI solutions with Pentaho and MySQL

It’s a free conference, feel free to join us there for a chat and/or a drink!

Until then,
Matt

Translation is Fun!!

Morning, I saw Monty's post asking for contribution to drizzle's i18n efforts. I did checked out Hindi language and well I must say translation is a fun activity. 
If you think that will be as easy as using some online translation tool (I tried Google Translate), you may be wrong. Many sentences that make direct sense in English get completely screwed when translated word by word. Sometimes they are translated into a perfect meaningful sentence and that is when you can laugh out loudly.
As of now I'm doing Hindi (already 80 translations down) and next I'm gonna pick Punjabi. Wow! I know languages.

Pentaho changes

I’m back at my favorite spot at the Orlando airport:

This week has gone bye so fast it’s kinda scary.  I got dragged into one meeting after another design session after another knowledge transfer opportunity for 5 days in a row.  After our long working days, the discussions and talks just continued over dinner and beers.

It was great to meet everyone and as always we had a good time around the office and at the Ale House.  I even managed to stay sober this time around.  Well at least most of the time.

As always, the thing that struck me the most was how fast Pentaho changes.  It’s almost like visiting a different company every time I drop in.  Since I don’t see the day-to-day changes around the office, the difference between the first time I visited (15 people) and now (70+) is striking.  The office space occupied more than doubled for example.

Well, let me tell you, …

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Billy Joel and Databases

So, we have all heard that Billy Joel played a concert at Oracle’s OpenWorld in 2007.

What follows is an actual IRC conversation among Don Seiler, Dave Edwards, and myself:

(4:02:46 PM) don: ha @ Billy Joel at OOW
(4:03:38 PM) dave: “We didn’t fire the startup…”
(4:07:53 PM) don: “we didn’t start the backup”?
(4:12:53 PM) dave: “Don’t go changin’ . . . your slave and master”
(4:20:19 PM) ***sheeri shoots Dave
(4:20:49 PM) sheeri: “I don’t want clever replication, we never could have come this far”
(4:24:05 PM) sheeri: “And the server sounds like an aero-plane, and replication chugs along as it must…and the inserts go on, replication corrupts, and I say “Man, now I’m workin’ all night!”

(4:24:29 PM) dave: “I said ‘ls -u’ . . . …

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My Sakila Cube


My Sakila Cube (black)
Originally uploaded by Geert JM VanderkelenThis is maybe an old idea, but still great to do! Thanks to Ronald's tip I could make the cube you see here. Just pure fun!

Check out how to do on Ned Batchelder's site!

(Also thanks to Ronald Bradford, I can walk the earth with my good walking shoes! )

Recycling old MySQL business cards


Recycling old MySQL business cards
Originally uploaded by Geert JM VanderkelenWell, we don't have a policy on what to do with them, so I went creative. Not as creative as Harrison did (where is that picture???), but I like it. It's hanging next to my MySQL certificates. Yes, I'm proud on these things, maybe I'm a bit vain.. But it does look good on the wall of my storage room.

(btw, this flickr to Google blogging is great!)

Captain Badly Bunkered

A bit of early Sunday morning rhymes at work.. picking up a support shift (not all you read is true: I do not hug cups!):

The struggle to wake up,
rubbing eyes and hugging the cup
Picking up the shift,
reading email and hoping for no drift
Reminders better be spam,
this morning I wish it remain calm

Oh little hangover
Why are you here
Oh little fever
It must have been the beer

Still dawn outside,
soon customers awake, and I can't hide
If it all stays online,
all will be good, I'll have a great time,
But something will have failed,
and we'll save folks badly bunkered

Oh five hours of sleep
Why wasn't it longer
Oh in bottles I looked deep
Eight hours, I hope not to linger(penned on 20th January 2008) 

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